Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

3 mistakes of my life

How many times do we laugh at our own mistakes?
I always very open about enjoying my nonsense stuffs with others. Most of the times I being end up as a tho! When I get nostalgic, I remembered my foolish deeds. They are lots of, but here I am sharing with you the latest 3.
Ticket please:- One fine day, I was accompanying Heramb to his room, ( I guess it was fifa world cup time) Babar joined us at Shivajinagar. We three were headed towards to Sangavi. We were having a blast in PMT, until ticket checkers took control of the entire bus. They were checking everyone’s ticket. As babar joined later, he bought his own ticket, and produced the same. When TC turned over to me, I looked at Heramb. Expression on his face was-Oh shit! Not this time.
Heramb: Aree **** , you bought the ticket, show them. Me: Yeah, I am searching. Wait.
H: Do it fast. TC is waiting only for you. ( other passengers now having a good look at me)
Hmmmm, I searched everywhere, but no avail. I just remember one thing that I bought 2 tickets and while talking to H, I started folding them and made one fine slip, rest don’t ask! ( I even searched below my seat)
We paid fine of 50 each, then we looked at each other, we started laughing like mad. Others had a good time seeing my antics. (According to Heramb)
Recharge coupon:- Usually I preferred doing top up at shop. I kind of reluctant to recharge coupons.
One day I went for a top up and learnt that Docomo server was down. I was in urgent need, so I decided to buy recharge coupon. I am always afraid of scratching cards. I thought I may end up scratching numbers also. Other problem was, I really don’t know how to scratch them, either by coin or by nails.
This time I preferred nails. I started scratching the coupon. For the first few digits I was doing fine, and then the inevitable happened. I literally scratched through the coupon. Forget about seeing digits, now I can saw through it. I scratched rest carefully. I thought I might do some permutation and combination stuff regarding those erased 3-4 digits, but my enthu dropped after 4-5 failed attempts. Then I kept that coupon in my drawer. After that incident I bought only one coupon and get it well scratched from my junior.

1+1=2, 2-1=1 shirt:- It’s been almost 4-5 years down the line that I never do shopping with my parents.( or rather they were happy that they no longer have to wait for long while I zeroed on something!) I usually went with my bro or rather did it by my own.
This summer I and my brother decided to stitch shirts. We did so. Still my mother insisted to have some shirts. (Very sweet!) So here I am, this time with my friend went for shopping. He had a good flavor of shopping in Ahmednagar. So we went some shops but each time I disagree with salesman, who used to said that, this is the shirt only best fit for you,sir. (ha ha! What a marketing strategy)
Then we went in a shop who boasted some French title ( ces- la- vie) thinking that this may got some stuff. Indeed they had. I quickly select one. Then the battle begins for the second one. I was thinking of having a short sleeve. So he showed some shirts. I liked two of them, but not really liked!( cant explain the difference between the two) . After much hiatus, also intervention of shop owner I select one. I paid the cash. They sent the shirt for some finer arrangements to tailor. Then god knows what strike me, I decided to not have last shirt. I asked my friend, what should I do? He said, If you don’t like it, then don’t buy it. I asked him, why the hell he didn’t say that while paying cash. He simply said one thing which I follow most, i.e. follow your instincts. If you are not happy with it, then don’t.
Me: I think, I am having a second thought about having the second shirt.
S.O. (shop owner):- Arey sir, don’t worry. It will definitely suit you.
Me: Yeah I know, but still I don’t want it. Give my cash back for that shirt.
S.O: (now in real shock) Aree sir, I swear , it is a good shirt. About having cash back, I simply can’t, because bill is made, and I can’t alter that. (After that he called his assistant to cancel finer arrangement and bring back shirt)
Me: (Realizing he is saying right) Ok, but still it’s just 5 mins. Can u?
S. O: No.
Me: Ok, least give me credit note, I will purchase something later.
S.O: yes, I can do that, but still that shirt is nice.
Me: Yes, but no thanks.

I took a credit note .Thinking of, how to protect it till next time I will back to home. After that I and my friend had a very healthy laugh. He admitted that, he had seen many shopping horrors, but this was one of a kind. I told my brother about this incident, he just smiled back! I offered him some cash and asked him to buy him jeans. (I simply hate to go there again) but he rejected the idea.
Last time, I had been to home. This time I went alone to cash credit note. They didn’t recognize me, may be because of this time, I was sporting mustache. (Remember that dumb movie, Rab ne bana di Jodi) I quickly select one, at the time of payment I passed note. We all just smiled.
After that I decided not to do any kind of shopping in Ahmednagar।

PS: There is no reason to be logical in this illogical world since we are all surrounded by the ones who boasted illogical things in logical way!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

BCCI banned bouncers in domestic cricket.

Yup, Cricket is my favorite sport, but I haven’t written a single post related to cricket yet.

That is somewhat weird, so here I am with wicked cricket post, rather breaking news.

BCCI banned bouncers in domestic cricket.

From our reporter it came out that, recently held BCCI meeting(they supposed to meet select indian team for Asia cup) they came out banning bouncers in domestic cricket.

In a press release they said that….

“Being gentleman’s game we should ban such outrageous act of bowling bouncers to batsman. Bouncers can be proving to be very dangerous to health.” For avoiding bouncers ( yes, because Indian batsman never attack bouncers, except SRT) batman had to do following things.

1. Duck! Yes for avoiding bouncer you have to set your eye on the ball and then duck! So that ball sails over batsman’s head. Sometimes varied bounce can cause lot of trouble. The timing of your ducking may not get right, and you may have to face chin music.(remember Dada).

2. Protect expensive helmet. Yes, our batsman cant afford to splash out money on helmet and such things.( oh yes, they have to save it for IPL nights)

3. Excessive ducking can cause slip disk. Back ache..( Yuvi does not fit in this scheme, because he seems to be lot more flexible shaking his body while dancing on ramp)

BCCI new regulations. ( Though rules can be changed by MCC, but BCCI rules on money power)

- Bouncer will be called no ball, also free hit will be awarded.

- If any bowler bowled two bouncers in an over, he will barred for bowling in the match.

- If bowler bowls bouncer in the match, his 10% match fee will be deducted for each bouncer.

- Bowlers who bowls speedy bouncer, ask to check their speed.( sometimes it gets difficult to spot the ball)

- BCCI will raise this bouncer issue in next ICC meeting. K Shrikanth (chief selector) will meet various cricketing board presidents. He will try to make one opinion on this issue. ( Pawar reportedly lured them stakes in IPL teams, if they co operate.)


PS: West Indian bowlers are thinking of quitting cricket.( of course bouncer is their main weapon.)

For more breaking news stay connected.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Chameli….

Yesterday was Antakshari 2010 day…
Hmm…I was a bit skeptical about whether I should participate or not. I do listen songs but remember only starting lines…what they say all about “Mukhada?” n all those is not my cup of tea.Last week our trip went 2 Harne…In between while playing Antakshari in bus my friend was prompting me…but my response was, ”Are yaar, prompt first 2-3 lines not just one… so that at least I can sing something(?)”…Remembering lyrics is always d toughest thing. Forget about English songs I m even bad at Hindi songs irrespective of whether they r very famous or not.(here I m barring myself commenting on latest Hindi songs…most of them contains very alien words which I never heard in my lyf)

So far now u hav very good idea about how m I good (?) at all these (songs) things…

Back 2 Antakshari…
I had a partner who was very good at all above things(!!!)…so I was relaxed (n he was perplexed)…but it turned out to be dat In buzzer round v guessed 3 songs correctly (unbelievable)…so v were on high…until dat Dumb Charades round came…

When host announces dat (Dumb Charades) particular round , we were like seeing each others dumb faces… After some grueling discussion we decided(?) dat I will do d acting business n he will do d guessing part!!!

Until our turn comes v were boosting each other falling confidence. n d time came…I went up…d movie name was “CHAMELI” . we had 2 minutes. We had 2 do all those things in those 2 mins like….
- guessin correct movie name
- correct actors name
- n one song from dat movie…(hush…even I felt like sweating writing this now)


So d time had started…I was total clueless. How to act on that word? my partner was doing all such right things…in between encouring me also (or begging) yaar kuch to acting kar….I had a thought dat…those 70 mins in Chak De was more easy than these 2 mins…In a last attempt I even did some weird Mujra type acting…by then he already gave up…in d end we finally scored 0 In dat round…n throw out of d competition.(which was eventual)…


After dat Antakshari everybody was like pointing a gun loaded wid full of suggestion( on chameli) on me…
Few of them r as follows…
- Act like smelling a flower (OMG yes chameli is a flower I forget dat at dat time)..
- Act like eating wid spoon (chammach) den break d word cha…like dat do d rest of d letters.
- Point 2 Chandu( my friend who was present at dat time)…break d letter cha…n then act like dying (meli or mela, in marathi)…cha+meli
- Do some Karina stunts n let him guess her movie…(how can I do Karina stunts?)
- one horrible suggestion from my partner: Act like some reptile on d tree…which he thought either gecko or chameleon…n then he will came down 2 chameli (from chameleon)
- Dance on d song “main saat samunder chod…like dat”…(if I was good at dancing then it was more easy 2 act, later ven they saw d vdo they learned dat it was useless suggestion…)
- Other suggestions were totally outrageous ….which I can’t describe here (!!!)



But at d end of day one of my friend gave me good lessons about dat particular(horrible) round…so lets c whats in line 4 Antakshari 2011…