If only

You will never meet the same person again.

Big events, small incidents knowingly or unknowingly contribute to building our own character. Whenever somebody says that, “You have changed a lot, you were not like this!” (In what sense, the concerned person knows the best!) Then we get realized that, yes! I guess, I changed a little bit.

I always open to any such events which enhance myself, rather everything around teaches us something, the only thing is that we have to see it with different spectacle. One thing I learned that about myself that, I am so much fancy about living on the edge. I likes when the situation let my adrenaline pumping. Be it exam time, any sport event, writing something innovative, watching lots of movies( till computer itself felt guilty), reading something( and forgetting everything) , going crazy about somebody( in spite of knowing the ultimate end). Although I likes sleeping long hours, sitting idle.

I realized after some time you get bored of the things which at some point you think, I can’t live without this! Time passes, you get addicted to something different. In my earlier stay at Pune, I was crazy about CS, so much that nobody can believe, how addicted I was! After some time the attraction receded gradually. Then came back at pune again. Again get hooked for some time. I again smiled at myself. Now seems to be come to ground reality. 

 

Meanwhile, introduced to Blogging and then poetry. Again fell in love with this, so much that at times, I got afraid of myself. Poetry is a kind of sweet addiction which soothes burning heart. I wrote every kind of poem mostly in Marathi, surprisingly some in English and more surprisingly in Hindi. Last summer I thought about a lot about this blogging and poetry, on the verge of leaving all this. I took a break, very confused. I tried to discuss, but later learned that, none can reach depth of anybody problem expect that person. So I thought a lot, and decided I shouldn’t deprive myself from this divine joy.

Someone said that, we get a single life; we should try each and everything. I totally disagree with this kind of philosophy. Life is such an unpredictable phenomenon that let alone rationalizing it; we cannot go near understanding it. I love surprises, also surprising others also. One thing I learned is that, you can’t blame anyone for your own downfall. You cannot claim sole propriety of your success.

Looking back at those memories,

I felt gasped!

I wonder how beautiful days they were.

Though at that time never realize,

The beauty of living the moment.

Time passes,

With little introspection we console ourselves,

I had a good time out there!

Why this lie?

Why such aloofness?

still, why there is guilt?

Are we destiny’s puppet?

Certainly not!!!

I wanna stride out, then do it!

I wanna break the rule, set free!

I wanna ruin myself, get ruined!

I wanna write a lot, express it!

I wanna hurt myself, do it badly!

I wanna study a lot, make it happen!

I wanna screamed like hell, tear it!

  PS: This post contains so much I, me , myself stuff , which i really don't like at first place but still cant resist the temptation.

circle

All d time in d day I wasn’t sure whether I should write or not…D feeling was irritating…I always cherish these small moments which inspire me 2 write…but today I was in a deep grief…My grandpa passed away last Sunday…

I was shocked when my dad called me…bcoz just last week I met him n he was doin gr8…it was just an attack n all lost…

I guess I became more emotional ever since I started reading Va Pu’s books…It was a bit hard 4 me 2 accept d fact…but somehow I gather d courage. I felt lot sorry 4 my mother. she sacrificed everything just 2 look after him…

I remember I read one book on Death or thought about deaths by Khushwant Singh(I forget d title)…Yes, everyday v hav 2 leave dis world…wat is count at d end of d day dat how u lived d lyf…


I read all those thoughts lot of times but never thought a lot on this. I just remember a say (though I m unable 2 present it completely) it goes like this. “.. ...live as if u die 2moro”. In Munnabhai MBBS jimmy shergil came 2 know dat he had a fatal disease n he had very few days in his hands…n at dat time he realized though he was grown up but never tasted d lyf. At dat point he decided he will gonna do wat his heart will guide( I termed dis as following ur instincts)…but it’s not good dat all d time v will hav 2 wait 4 this signal…why just v cant live as v wished? A smile, a thanx, some warm words, a sorry, some words of appreciation, a hug , a small pat on d back will do d business, but v were so miser dat v hardly did this even if v wanted .

Yes all d time in our lyf v were bind by some social or any other taboo…v wanted to do something what v feel inside but afraid of wat people will think or wat so called society will say…

V all r materialistic. The radius of our lyf-circle is very small…n v all r happy revolving d same periphery again n again…nothing comes 2 mind like expanding d horizon. Sometimes I wished why did I read all dis one? its better 2 b ignorant sometimes….



Lyf is such a gr8 dat it gives a brand new day…why? just to forget if something bad happened wid us yesterday…n cherish bright moments ,take inspiration from them n be happy n make other happy…instead we all happy wid our sorrowful past. Always chewing wat went wrong wid us…Make ur slate of lyf blank every day. Face each moment with lot of affection.

In Partner(classic by VP)…there was a quarrel between wife n husband…n he was sure dat she not gonna speak wid him at least 3 days…they went to respective offices without talkin to each other…During day she had 2 follow some funeral…dat time she realized, How small m i? m gonna waste my 3 days just bcoz of some misunderstanding. she felt ashamed of her…when she backed from office she talked a lot wid her husband. He was baffled. but only she knew d value of these moments, which she gonna b missed…

some cellular company’s ad goes like this..”Make d most of now”. Yes v hav 2 do d same…it matters less if things go wrong but at least u hav dat satisfaction dat u heard ur inner voice instead following others blindly…

PS:- All those thoughts comes 2 my mind when I alone…though I present it in a messed up manner..but they r just they r…

Being Nachiket

I asked my friend to be cheerful in her post..but I sincerely think that blog is d place where u expressed ur feelings, things which u wanted to share…irrespective of what others think…

Now I will gonna do d same…(its not like dat my earlier posts were framed)..But now im really feeling low… Reason is my weird behavior on d ground…Our depts. annual sports events were on. and on Thursday there was match between Senior girls n Junior ones…

Being coach of junior team I was lot active n vocal on d field…givin all d instructions n maneuvering the field and side by side taking objections to umpiring decisions..
End result was dat I had argument wid one of my best friend…I lost my cool, composure…I barked some nonsense. It was only his kind heartedness dat he didn’t lost his cool…n situations didn’t do out of control.

I felt lot more guilty…more so I was angry wid my strange behavior…
I always follow some simple rules…

· Try ur best possible not to hurt anyone.
· Anger is one word away from danger.
· Be happy n apply efforts 2 make others feel happy.

But it seemed dat I was out of character…
It was more like…

· Try ur best possible to hurt anyone.
· Be unhappy n apply efforts not 2 make others feel unhappy.

Yes sometimes its lot difficult is being nachiket. I apologize all d one whom I hurt unintentionally.

As I was hoping dat situation will calm down..then this email fiasco happened. I really felt ashamed of that. I can’t expressed my helplessness…
I can only hope dat concerned person will accept my apology n things will b normal.